


to break free and truly live

by troublemaker (shoseilovemail)



Category: JO1 (Japan Band)
Genre: Cottagecore but its winter, Domestic Fluff, M/M, Polyamory, a disproportionate amount of rukisei, fluff fluff fluff, hugging pots of hugging, the domestic ideal, very implied homophobia in regards to being kicked out
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-22
Updated: 2020-12-22
Packaged: 2021-03-11 05:42:24
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,036
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28230075
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/shoseilovemail/pseuds/troublemaker
Summary: Ren's all over Ruki's shoulder, fast asleep in a quiet slumber. Shosei sits with a bit of distance, Ruki can't help but notice. He looks in the younger's eyes, then away again, because he surely won't find what he's looking for.Ren and Ruki find a boy in the snow.
Relationships: Kawashiri Ren/Ohira Shosei, Kawashiri Ren/Shiroiwa Ruki, Kawashiri Ren/Shiroiwa Ruki/Ohira Shosei, Shiroiwa Ruki/Ohira Shosei
Comments: 6
Kudos: 12





	to break free and truly live

**Author's Note:**

> But I'm okay in see-through skin  
> I forgive what is within  
> 'Cause I'm in this house  
> I'm in this home  
> All my time.  
> \- _Crystals_

Ruki looks at Ren, at the boy in the snow, back at Ren, back at the boy. It's surreal, almost as if they're in a movie - that they would find a boy in front of their kitchen window, just lying in the snow. God knows what he's doing in the very outskirts of Sapporo, and how long he's been here.

"No matter what, we can't just leave him here. ", Ren says, crouching down to push the boy's bangs out of his face. "I don't think he's much younger than us. "

Ren looks up to Ruki and Ruki nods - they communicate like that; wordless, in a language of signs only they know. Ruki takes the boy's legs and Ren his back, and together they carry him into their house.

Ruki heaves more firewood inside while Ren boils water for tea and a hot water bottle. They collect all their blankets and cushions to wrap the boy in who's still asleep.

Ruki watches him attentively while he searches for recent missing notices in Hokkaido on his phone. When he's at the 4th page, he groans and throws his phone aside, "Ren, can't find him anywhere. "

"He didn't have anything on him either, did he? " Ren asks from the kitchen. Ruki shakes his head. "He's like an illegal alien. "

Ruki glances back at the boy and almost jumps up - his eyes are open. Sleepy half-open, but _he's awake_.

"Ren Ren Ren! ", Ruki whispers, and the older almost runs over to join him on the couch.

Ruki watches the boy turn to them and how his eyes widen, then soften. He moves slowly, with caution, as if any wrong motion could trigger a bomb. He seems so fragile, so breakable, with pale skin and glassy eyes.

"Did I... make it? ", the boy says, slowly. He must be still weak from the cold, Ruki thinks.

"Hi ", Ren says carefully, "we found you freezing outside our house so we took you in, we hope that was okay- "

The boy's eyes widen again; with joy, and he starts beaming. Then, as if to get a hold of himself again, his teethy smile shrinks down to a minimum. His voice is small and soft when he says, "Thank you. "

There's some sort of a silence, and Ruki decides that he should say something, too. "So what where you doing out here? It's so far away from the city. "

The boy turns to the fireplace, just watches it, and Ruki's curses at himself, he shouldn't have said that.

It's that small, quiet voice again that answers, "I ran away from home. "

Ruki decides to not say anything else - he doesn't have a good sense of tact, and he's already ruined it, probably.

Thankfully, there's Ren to save him. "No matter what happened ", he says with an affirming smile, "you're safe with us here. Okay? " Ruki knows this smile; it's helped him through so much and he wonders what magic God put into Ren for him to have such a smile.

"So ", Ren says, clasping his hands together, "do you want some food? "

The boy's eyes light up and Ruki just smiles, thanks Ren for being as amazing and empathetic as he is.

(And when they eat Ren's special winter warm up stew at their small table together, Ruki feels joy and warmth all around him and it's nice.)

"What's your name, by the way? " Ren asks at some point, a question they totally forgot about. Ruki laughs unintentionally, then hushes himself. The boy looks at them, then points to his cheek stuffed with potato.

"Shosei ", he finally says. His voice is as soft and tiny as ever, and it makes Ruki _feel_ something.

But he just grins, and Ren laughs and Shosei smiles, and maybe this isn't ruined at all.

*

Ren and Ruki unanimously decide to give Shosei time. Don't ask him why he's here, where he's from, what happened and all that. One does not just run away from home.

So they give him what they can; their house and their compassion, hoping it's enough. The latter is hard for Ruki - it's not like he doesn't have empathy, he's just deceptively bad at using it.

So he watches and tries to understands what's going on in Shosei's head; when he sits at the window looking out into the woods, when he warms his hands at the fire or makes himself a cup of tea.

Their daily life goes like this: Ren wakes up quite early to get to his job in town, few hours later Ruki gets up and last, Shosei. Ruki locks himself in his studio because he's desperate to get out a Christmas song. And Shosei?

If he's doing anything, Ruki doesn't see it. Sometimes he's talking to people on his phone. Sometimes he borrows a book from Ren's collection and reads. Most of times he stares into nowhere.

And Ruki watches him, quietly watches _over_ him.

Through rain and snow and wind and weather. Ruki doesn't know what it is, but he feels inclined to protect Shosei - hold him close, warm him and don’t let him get hurt. He has that thought and shoves it away, because it goes in a direction this shouldn't go into.

He burries those thoughts under scribbled sheets and compositions, writes them into his lyrics and his compositions. It works that way, and Ruki's content.

Most days go like this, slow and nice - but of course, there _has_ to be an exception. Or multiple. One time, Ruki's staring at his screen humming a melody when he hears the knock. A soft, shy knock.

He opens the door to see Shosei - fully wrapped into a blanket, hair a soft mess. He must've just come down. Ruki blinks and lets him in. The younger wanders around, stares at all the guitars and flutes until he fixates on the wall behind Ruki's desk.

"What's that? "

"Oh ", Ruki exhales softly, "that's an award. I got it few years ago for winning a song writing competition. "

"You must be very good, then. " Shosei looks at him.

"Ah no, " Ruki shakes his head. He glances at the crystal trophy hung up high on the wall. "I used to think I was. I really loved composing back then, but now that I'm actually working in music I've kind of lost my passion. "

He sighs, and Shosei turns away to leave. However, he stops at the door.

"I used to love dancing. But I had to give that up when I came here. I still... miss it sometimes. " He looks back at Ruki, and there's something in his eyes, a shine, maybe... hope?

"You should try to get back to it you can. If you really want to. " Ruki thinks for a second and adds, "Don't lose your passion. "

Shosei smiles, a bit bitterly, and closes the door after him. Ruki can still feel his gaze on him. See the look in his eyes clearly in his own head. It lingers.

*

Ruki wonders if Shosei knows.

Well, he _should_ , because he lives with Ren and Ruki, and Shosei's by no means an idiot so after a month living with then he should've figured out that they're dating.

He doesn't seem to mind it in any way. And Ruki means that he's seen the rainbow pride flag on Shosei's home screen, so that's that. So he and Ren just continue doing their domestic lovers thing, as if nothing's different.

Although Ruki's heard so many times that they look more like friends together (but maybe that's also just people being... people). Ren's naturally affectionate but after 3 years living with Ruki he's turned down, sort of. He's adapted, yeah.

Because Ruki is like a grumpy cat - most times he wants to be left alone, but _when_ he wants cuddles, he will force Ren out of any situation into it. Ren's happy to join, as long as he's not cooking (Ruki's back hugged him while flipping pancakes once, and well, the pancake went just by Ruki's ear).

Ruki's sitting on the fluffy red carpet next to the fireplace wrapping presents when Shosei comes in. He's up later than usual. Goes through his usual routine of cereal and tea while Ruki unties a ribbon to tie it again.

"Why'd you do that? "

"I'm a perfectionist ", Ruki says, biting the end of the ribbon to keep it straight. "Also, this is from Ren. It _has_ to be perfect. "

Shosei hums, eats another spoon. "What'd you get for him? " He glances at the small purple box.

"It's, uh, " Ruki stutters, "earrings. The kind that he really likes. Y'know, the flat ones. " He opens the box to show Shosei and then younger hums. "I'm sure he'll really like it. "

Shosei keeps his eyes on Ruki while he sips his tea. Ruki doesn't know why, but from a glance he can see a certain softness in Shosei eyes, kind of like... a yearning.

"I hope you'll like my present, too ", Ruki says after a while, holding the now wrapped box out in front of him to muster. He glances at Shosei again to see his eyes widen, then soften.

"A present? For me? "

Ruki stares at him. "Yes. "

"I haven't gotten proper presents in years. " Ruki looks deep into Shosei's eyes and what he sees in pure honesty, genuine fondness. And it makes Ruki think - what must've been his home like, his family, that he'd run away this far from them. He won't ask, though - simply accepts, and hopes, that he can give Shosei maybe just a bit of a home.

*

Time flies by and suddenly it's Spring - the snow's melting, flowers bloom trees slowly regain their green. Ren and Ruki promised to show Shosei the cherry blossoms in Tokyo and now it's almost time. They board the train to Tokyo with suitcases packed full and excitement on their faces.

Ren shares an earphone with Ruki, softly bobbing his head along the music - it's from their shared Spotify playlist, full of Ruki's beloved guitar melodies and Ren's favourite electro beats. Shosei's leaning against the window across from them, lips pursed and eyes set onto something unknown on the horizon.

 _This is what peace feels like_ , Ruki thinks.

He hopes that he's not misreading the air - Ruki's prone to doing that, he's found, ever since Shosei joined them. Maybe it's that he's spent so many years close to Ren that they just _get_ each other, or maybe Shosei's just hard to read. Ren gets him, though, so it's rather Ruki's problem.

Ruki narrows his eyes, sets them on Shosei, searching for a thing unknown - when Shosei glances at him, he pretends to look out of the window. Tokyo's close, Ruki feels and sees it, and he's getting excited.

Before anything they take the shuttle to their hotel to park their (ridiculously) heavy luggage. Ren and Ruki take a double room while Shosei his own, on request. The hotel is nice, and Ruki could fall asleep just then and there, but they have more to do that day.

First they visit Shibuya, Ren's amazed at all the traffic (he's seen it on TV but _this is the real thing_ , he says). Ruki tries on coats in a designer store that he ends up not liking, although Shosei and Ren encourage him to buy them), Ren spends a ridiculous amount of money on sweets and Shosei takes pictures of the idol group shown on the big Yunika Vision screen.

"Who's that? ", Ruki asks and Shosei hums as he checks the photos. "Seventeen, a k-pop group. I really like them. "

"Oh, k-pop? ", Ren butts in, "Do you wanna visit Tower records? "

Shosei's eyes lighten up and they walk to the popular music store, behind thousands of other small stores and massive traffic. _That's Tokyo_ , Ruki thinks.

Shosei buys a pretty purple album and a pink-ish one. Seventeen's a big group, Ruki remembers, a whole 13 members strong.

Shosei unpacks the album on the subway to the ramen restaurant and beams when he gets the picture card with his favourite member. ("Look, Ruki, he's so cool, Hoshi's so cool, isn't he? ") Ruki doesn't get him really but his content and smiles at Shosei's happiness.

They can't afford to eat in one of the top rated fancy restaurants but the small bar they settle down in is far from bad. They each order a max-sized bowl (Shosei didn't want to at first, "It's too expensive ", but Ren and Ruki reassured him that it'll be fine, they'll pay. )

They slurp their ramen together and laugh at Ren's bad jokes, Ruki's weird stories and even usually quiet Shosei makes them laugh out loud.

At the end of the day Ruki sits with them in the subway, hands full with shopping bags while Ren sleeps on his shoulder and Shosei looks to a place far away. Ruki smiles, feeling the peace, although _something_ just seems a little bit off, but he ignores it.

He's so happy right now, with Ren who he loves the most in the world and Shosei that he cares so, so much for.

*

The night is unexpectedly very stormy, so much that it wakes Ruki up. The earlier thunder has calmed down but it's still dripping. Ruki sits up, rubs his eyes - Ren's sleepy calmly next to him, breathing slowly, body curled up into a small ball, providing warmth in the cold room. It's moments like that were Ruki's so, so grateful for Ren.

Ruki listens to the rain for a while - it's nice, he's always liked the sound of rain, especially at night he finds it quite calming. It's like solace; serenity, even.

Then there's a knock on the door. Ruki tries not to flinch but he does, his eyes widen and he doesn't move; only fixates his gaze onto the door.

A good 10 seconds pass, then there's another knock. Ruki has a hand hovering over Ren, in case he needs to wake the older up. His heart rate goes up higher and higher.

Then there's the tiniest of a whisper that Ruki just barely catches - "It's me, Shosei. "

Ruki sighs in relief but not quite (why is Shosei awake? Why is he coming to _their_ room?) He makes his way to the door, half carefully slow, half recklessly quick.

When he opens, there's Shosei - he looks tired, the really bad kind; his hair is all ruffled up and his eyes seem droopier than usual. In the faint hallway light Ruki thinks they're red, even.

Ruki opens and closes his mouth, doesn't quite know what to say, then Shosei goes "Can I come in? ".

Ruki looks at him and Shosei looks at Ruki. He lets the younger through, watches him shuffle in.

Ren's waken up by now as well, blinking in exhaustion and confusion. "Shosei.. ? "

"I just - " Shosei speaks hesitantly. "I can't sleep. "

"Do you know why? ", Ren asks, and _oh_ , he's so much better at this than Ruki.

"I'm lonely. "

Ruki looks at Shosei, at Ren, at Shosei and at Ren. They're barely silhouettes in the dark, but Ruki still searches for something in their faces.

Then, he decides to say fuck it and just go by his heart for once.

"Do you want to sleep with us? "

"As in, just laying in the bed with us. So you wouldn't be lonely. ", Ruki adds quickly, feeling the need to clarify.

Shosei looks at him and the seconds of silence feel too long - way too long until Shosei says "Yes, I'd like that. ".

Ruki stands for a few seconds before he _realizes_ , and moves aside. Shosei shuffles in, a bit hesitant, but Ren whispers "it's okay ", "c'mere "and all those compassionate words.

And that's how they end up - three in a bed, barely touching and awkwardly lying there.

It feels like an eternity's passed- the rain's stopped even, at this point - and Shosei whispers, in his quiet voice again.

"Can I get a hug? "

Ren's the first to act, just slinging an arm over Shosei's side and holding him close. Ruki joins, too; like a mirror to Ren, finds Shosei's head and strokes his hair softly. Now Shosei's between the two of them, wrapped up tightly and warm.

Ruki hears light sobs and Shosei holds on tight, too - on the both of them. He wishes he could kiss Shosei's tears away, but he can't, of course. Ruki closes his eyes, his hand finds Ren's, and maybe even Shosei's. That's all he can do.

He listens to slow breaths until he's deep in his dreams.

*

Ruki pushes his bangs out of his face and looks up. The cherry blossoms are so, so beautiful - he's missed them up in the cold north. The pink fills the sky, and they're so lucky that it's a nice, clear day.

Ren laughs next to him, so much that he falls over and had to support himself on Ruki's shoulder. His eyes are turned up into that crescent shape that Ruki adores, so much more than the cherry blossoms even.

Shosei smiles and follows Ruki's gaze up, staring at the trees in awe. Ren gets a hold of himself again and asks, "Have you ever seen the cherry blossoms before, Shosei? "

"Once as a child. Well, I've seen them every year, but I didn't celebrate it like- this. " There's this look in his eyes that Ruki's seen a lot during the past day. Like... unwanted nostalgia.

"Ruki and I go see them here every year, even though we live so far away, because ", and he stretches the because, "back in high school, Ruki confessed to me under the cherry blossoms. "

Ruki feels his cheeks turning a bit red, (but maybe that's just the sake). "That was after our graduation ceremony. I was rushing it and it was really messy and- "

"Wonderful. ", Ren finishes, with the opposite of what he's intended to say. Ruki pouts and Ren smiles mischievously, kissing him on the cheek. Shosei watches them.

"Anyways ", Ruki says and shoves Ren to the side. "in general it's just nice to come here and celebrate. " He takes a sip more of sake as well as one of Ren's dangos. He offers Shosei one but the younger declines.

At the end of the day Ruki leans back to see the sun setting, turning the sky a pink akin to the cherry blossoms. They're all lying flat with their backs on their picnic blanket, bellies full and smiles content (at least Ruki hopes so, because he can't see Shosei's face).

He watches the younger closely when Ren excuses them for 'a private minute ' and Shosei just smiles awkwardly.

Ren pulls Ruki behind the tree to go in for a kiss immediately, without any words. It's small and delicate, a tribute to love and nothing but. Ruki looks up at Ren at some point, looks at his eyes and wonders what it is that he always tries to find.

They part but Ren presses their foreheads together, closing his eyes and locking fingers with Ruki. It's a moment of warmth, of quiet; of serenity. Ruki wishes he could make it hold on for an eternity, but he can't, so he'll keep it in his heart instead.

On the train back to their hotel Ren's all over Ruki's shoulder, fast asleep in a quiet slumber. Shosei sits with a bit of distance, Ruki can't help but notice. He looks in the younger's eyes, then away again, because he surely won't find what he's looking for.

*

"Ruki? "

He hums and exhales. "What's wrong? ", he hears Ren whisper next to him. "

It's late, way too late for Ruki to be awake but it's something he can't help when he's worried. He just stares at the ceiling, letting his thoughts run in circles until he falls asleep from exhaustion. Ren never catches him, usually, because he sleeps like a rock, but today's one of the many exceptions in Ruki's life.

"Shosei ", he simply says, and hopes that it gets his message across. It does, he supposes, because Ren hums - but he _knows_ that there's so much it doesn't say, only imply - like all those feelings Ruki associates with Shosei. Warm cheeks, clutched chest and weak knees. He doesn't want Ren to know that, though, so he leaves it as _Shosei_.

Ruki hears Ren shift next to him and suddenly there's and arm reaching over his stomach. Ruki turns over to his side so that Ren can hug him from behind. The older throws the blanket over them and finds Ruki's hand with his own.

Ruki will never, won't ever admit that he loves this position but Ren surely knows. Ren knows him in and out, knows every thought, every feeling without a word from Ruki. That's why he's scared - that Ren will find out about Ruki's _feelings_ and that he'll -

"Ruki ", comes a whisper again, "I love you. " It's simple but hits home, and Ruki clutches Ren's hand just a _little_ tighter.

"And no matter what, I'll never leave you. "

The words echo in Ruki's head, in the silence. "No matter what ", he repeats unconsciously.

There's many, many layers to what Ruki's feeling in just this moment, but that's... something for another day. He's warmed by the person he loves the most, and there's another person he loves the most that he's longing for but will all, will all be fine.

Ruki doesn't know how much longer he's awake; time just still both in anxiety and with Ren. His life is a pretty mix of those two.

In the end he falls asleep, dreams of foxes and angels and fluffy beds big enough to hold three.

*

(On the way back to Sapporo they don't get a four seater; Ren and Ruki sit in one row next to each while Shosei sits alone in the one next to them. He looks out into the far, listening to a song, feeling what only he knows.

Ruki narrows his eyes, then leans back onto Ren's shoulder, because he won't find what he searches anyways.)

*

It's like Ruki blinks and suddenly Spring has gone by. Then Summer, then Autumn. Shosei's still with them, it's been over a year and Christmas is close again.

They haven't changed - why would they? Time only passes while they just live their lives, one person more with them makes no difference. Ruki still suffers from a creative blockade, Ren still dances his heart out every day and Shosei is... still there.

It's crazy to think, that he's stayed with them all along. They certainly don't mind, and Ruki just _hopes_ that they're a good home for Shosei. He doesn't know, though, will never be able to know.

There's... so many moments where Ruki's frustrated, because his feelings didn't change either - and it's all those nights that he hides tears and all those moments where Shosei smiles that make his life. They shouldn't. Ren should (he does, but Shosei does, too, and that's a problem).

Ruki doesn't believe in religion or in the magic of Christmas, so he doesn't get his hopes up high for this year either. However, because he's Ruki, he's still stressed about the presents.

"What are you getting Ren? "

Ruki puts his tea mug down and thinks. "I'm not sure yet. I was thinking sweets or something. He likes all those little things. "

Shosei just forms an 'oh ' with his mouth and takes a sip of his own milk tea. "I don't have a clue either. But I want to get him something really special. "

Ruki hears the hesitation in Shosei's voice, and waits for him to add on to his words. Shosei looks at him, and Ruki sees something he's never seen before. _Is this what he's been searching for this past year?_

"Because he's really special to me. " the younger finishes. "You are, too, of course- "

Ruki waves it off and just nods. "It's okay ", he says but nothing more; the _you're special to me, too_ gets stuck in his throat.

He washes it away with tea.

*

Few days later Ruki has almost the exact same discussion with Ren, and it's so much of a déjà vu that it's painful.

"He's special to me - to us - so I want to get him something good. " Ren explains. Ruki thinks, and stares at the wall.

"He really is ", Ruki repeats. "Even more than special. "

He doesn't know why but it just slips out of him. Maybe that's good, maybe that's bad; Ruki's mind swings to the latter and he turns his eyes to Ren - _and waits_.

"So... you feel that... too? ", Ren says. It's very small, so faint, barely a whisper. Ruki's eyes widen and what he thought'd be impossible. Ren's are so wide, too, and it's just like 4 years ago when Ruki confessed to him first.

It was messy, rushed and Ruki's skin was burning when Ren took his hand- eyes full with the stars and soft as a pillow. That day, he said _I like you, too_ , those words that changed Ruki's world - and now, he's changed it again.

Ruki nods, feels his cheeks flushing, because he's _admitting_ what he's pushed away for so long. "I felt so bad. So wrong ", he says, slowly.

"Hey, I get that ", Ren says, putting a warm hand on his shoulder. "I've felt the same. " Ruki looks at him and he wants to cry - Ren's smiling, trying to reassure the younger, and it works. He's always so, so good to him, Ruki doesn't deserve it.

He leans over to rest his head on Ren's shoulder where it's welcomed, and just... lets his tears flow. It's one of the few places where he really can, and he's so grateful for it. Ren pats his back gently.

"What will we do ", Ruki exhales after a while.

"I don't know yet ", Ren answers, "but we'll figure something out. Right? "

He smiles at Ruki and Ruki smiles back. Alone he might not, but with Ren he'll find a way for sure.

*

Christmas Eve comes and they exchange presents - prettily packaged boxes, all shiny and nice - tiny vessels of happiness.

Ruki gets chocolate from Ren and a new blanket from Shosei. Ren's delighted to receive a way-too-big-but-who-cares-it's-Christmas pot of hot chocolate and Shosei grins when he unwraps his yellow jumper.

Then they have dinner; not a turkey as a regular family would probably do, but Ren's homemade potato salad with sausage and bacon.

After that they all huddle on the couch, turning on the next best Christmas movie that's in the TV. Ren and Ruki share the latter's new blanket while Shosei sits a bit apart from them on his own, sipping fresh hot chocolate.

At the end Ren turns off the TV and throws the remote in front of him. He glances at Shosei, then at Ruki, and he knows where this will go. Ruki swallows thickly.

"Today's been nice, hasn't it? ", the oldest opens. Shosei's smiling softly, nodding along.

"I hope it was a special day for you, because- " Ruki gulps again. _Here it comes..._

"-you're special to the both of us. Very. " Ren's voice remains firm but Ruki knows he's nervous, too. Ren's not perfect, after all.

Ruki meets Shosei's eyes and he can't _fucking figure him out_ , it's scary. "You mean... but how...? " He's putting things together at least, but that's just one stone less on Ruki's heart.

"There's something called polyamorous relationships. So, if... " Ren leaves the sentence open. Ruki thinks he can feel the older trembling besides him. He looks at Shosei and his eyes - not searching for anything, just _looks_ at them.

They're sparkling and shining, with the lights of candles and the sparkle of stars, and Ruki can't help but sigh loudly in relief. Shosei giggles, a bit embarrassed, and Ruki feels Ren relax beside him.

Shosei scoots closer to them and they huddle all together under Ruki's big fluffy blanket, cuddling until Ren gets up to make more hot chocolate. The night becomes long and longer; Ruki gets tired from the early hours but he won't get tired of the love around him.

*

The following year they visit the cherry blossoms in Tokyo again, now not two and one but three. They shop together; Ruki buys Ren a new coat and Ren recommends Shosei k-pop groups in the music store. They laugh under the cherry blossoms, share sake, dangos and crackers.

Shosei's grinning brightly, breaks into laughter at Ren's joke - and Ruki can't help but kiss his smile. They share more kisses under the gentle sunset later, and it's the happiest Ruki's felt in a long time.

They fall into their triple bed in the hotel, and Shosei brings them into a big hug.

"This is the best place on earth ", Shosei whispers. "Tokyo is so big that it makes me feel so small and insignificant - all alone. I've felt like that for a long time, no matter where I was, to be honest. "

"But now I'm here ", he says, and a big smile spreads on Ruki's face. _Happiness, is that what it's called?_

"You are my home, and I'm so happy and grateful that I found you. I love you. "

"I love you, too ", Ren says softly, and he shifts closer to hug Shosei - and Ruki - tighter. Ruki holds on tight, too - he brings the hands of the three of them together and finds that they fit together perfectly.

"I love you ", he says, too. Ruki thinks that those are just so simple words, but they carry so much - _I'm so grateful. You bring me happiness. You're my home._

All of them and even more apply to how Ruki feels about Shosei and Ren - they're the epitome of warmth, a place of true serenity, of trust, of eternity, of love. They are his home - and every moment, good or bad makes Ruki's life.

He knows that they feel that, too - he sees it in their eyes, bright and clear; he doesn't have to search for a second even.

Here is Ruki's favourite place on Earth, with the two people he loves the most. He's come a long, long way but it was so worth it - to arrive at the happiest place on Earth, shared home to the three of them.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading! Please leave a comment or find me on [ cc ](https://curiouscat.qa/Shoseilover) or [ twt ](https://twitter.com/shoseilovemail)


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